You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
