Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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