is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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