So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize