Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
