Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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