dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
