Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
