Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
