Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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