Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
