That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
