so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
