Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
