Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
