so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
