I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
