Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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