We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize