Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize