And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
