The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
