69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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