end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
