so explain again why im purple
no
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
