I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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