I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
