We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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