Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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