and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
