Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
