My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
