he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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