also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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