Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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