On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
