Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
