if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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