Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I stole a fireplace last night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
