Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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