Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize