i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
