Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
