when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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