I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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