im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
where are my eyebrows?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
