I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
