Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
