dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I love you.
Bad choice
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