Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
