here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
