It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
