she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
