They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
