Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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