is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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