I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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