hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
