I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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