I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
