Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
