I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
