i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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