Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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